me

Forgiveness

1/19

I’ve been hearing the word forgiveness everywhere I turned. The Bible clearly teaches forgiveness and emphasizes this practice as a solution to any relational issues. Even our psychology book teaches forgiving another lowers tension and physiological tensions. There is a very deep disappointment and bitterness in my heart that I wish to get rid of. 

Forgiving is definitely something that is not easy to do, but for the sake of a few things:

1. Seeing a clearer image my God’s mercy

2. Letting go of my anger that drives me away from love

3. For friends whom I deeply care for

4. For less tensions in my life

I will work to forgive… 

Noonas and Hyungs

1/14

Maybe its just my ignorance. I seem to be a lot more immature and more hyper when I am around people who are older. This probably has to do with my inability to socialize with people my age when I was younger… but I can say and do a lot of things that I can’t around people younger or my age. 

When people encourage that immature side of me though, I simply respond more foolishly and mess around a lot more. 

In a scenario where the older hyung or noona get fed up with this “immaturity” perhaps due to a long day or just not a good time, and they become extremely reactive without any warning… I honestly do not know how to respond.

When less than 12 hours ago, if we were both fooling around about one topic through the phone, in person, or facebook, I am too ignorant to realize that one thing I might’ve said perhaps 5 minutes ago has gone too far. Or has it really? 

I’m sorry to say I do mess around a lot. I can be very ignorant to what happens around me… but as the older figure I ask for a bit more stability, especially if we fool around on it before. I ask that you don’t ignore my existence but rather talk it out… because honestly it just kills any past relationship we had in the past.

To understand

1/14/11

When an elementary kid pouts because he does not win a game and decides to throw a tantrum about it, as an older person who’s once been there before… you can understand him and not condemn him for it because he still is just a child. 

I believe, this understanding is very similar to that of my God. He sees us make mistakes over and over again, yet he views us as immature children whom he loves dearly. Because He understands out imperfection, we can do the same.

This encourages me to do the same for others.

walk the talk

1/9/10

In high school, people who get good grades and study hard are usually labeled “smart.” I find this to be a flawed stereotype. I think being smart is a combination of many different things… It includes working hard, but also being able to work hard for a cause he or she finds worthy of. Working hard blindly for some hope in the future is in other words a robot… we don’t call calculators smart for a reason. 

To press on through struggles towards an ultimate goal such as saving the world, curing cancer, ending corruption, or even making so much money that one can retire at age 30… seems to define someone who is smart a lot better than good grades and good study habits.

It’s the making a goal and working the butt off to reach it are the qualities of a smart person.  I think

Awkward

1/8/11

Dictionary.com defines “awkward” as “lacking social graces or manners.” I always wondered why people in general, get awkward. Maybe due to a spontaneous silence or just the inability to continue a conversation. 

In my life, this happens a lot when I’m around the opposite gender. With guys, ehh… I’m okay. But with girls or sometimes with people of higher positions, it gets kinda tough. For me, when I’m most hyper and ecstatic I can create conversation.. it may be awkward conversation but something in me keeps me going at a discussion that may not even make any sense. 

So all in all, I’ve concluded that the feeling that can overcome any awkward situations… is confidence.

Awareness

1/7/10

When you’re seeing someone work so hard to please a group of people, but that group of people retort back lacking attentiveness… you wonder what is going through their minds. I guess… from a third party perspective, I can appreciate the efforts of that one person and for myself as an individual, I can show attentiveness. 

Sometimes, I’m a part of that group and for the sake of the speaker’s sanity, a little attention, I’ve found… is so worth it. Choosing to show attentiveness and administer correct responses can be extremely encouraging to the speaker (in so many ways).

Just something I thought was very interesting and should be focused more on during my daily life.

Commitment

Let’s see if I can for every day starting today for the rest of 2011, I can put something profound I’ve learned… 

1/6/11

I’ve learned that when it comes down to seeing whether you really care about someone, it is being able to see one’s flaws, mistakes, and his/her imperfection and appreciate even that part of it. 

kinda like our parents…

Patience

There isn’t much patience I have left in me. Keep pushing it and I will snap.

Let’s live sincerely…

Whose voice means more…

In the past few weeks/months I took lots of criticisms and insults directed at who I am as a person. I want to address you people who have been doing so.

1. If you have an issue with someone, doing it anonymous makes your crap nothing but crap. Be mature enough to talk to me either in person or to tell me who you are.

2. There are a few people in my life whose criticisms and words I take to heart. There are those who are in that circle whose criticisms mean something to me. For those outside of that, I do hear you out but what you have to say doesn’t matter to me… because you don’t matter to me.

3. I don’t hate you nor do I feel enough anger to take you on, but what I ask is a substantial level of maturity. Letting your emotions get in the way is a sign of your weakness. Shape up before you think you have the knowledge and ability to criticize others.

4. I’m not a perfect being. I will never be. This is not to say I give up trying to be a better person. I do have flaws and have made too many mistakes in my life that I’m not proud of. If you can’t take that into consideration before approaching me, I won’t value what you have to say at all.

The four points are fairly similar. Grow up yea? If you are not trying to improve that person but letting your immaturity and your emotions get in the way… then I honestly think you just need to shut up.